Nadine’s former teaching colleague John, who survived a tumor himself,  wrote her a longer letter which included the drawing pictured above. It shows a certain part of the Danish coast where he and his partner bought themselves a farm house. Well, me and Nadine were fabulating about similar things sometimes, although we mostly fancied a place somewhere at the Mediterranean Sea.

But if you are diagnosed like Nadine, your perspective on life changes drastically. All that counts now is the near future, and this means three more sessions of radiation therapy until Wednesday. On Tuesday afternoon we are going to talk to the doctors about further treatment which will almost certainly include another chemotherapy. Nadine is supposed to be relaesed from hospital on Thursday and will have a short break first in order to regain some strength.

I am returning to work in part time next week, so I will be out of the house on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday mornings . We are currently arranging that friends or family members come along on these days and join Nadine for cooking a meal together or take her out for lunch. I wouldn’t be comfortable with her being alone for eight or nine hours and having to do all that stuff on her own – not yet.

P.S.: When Nadine is returning home and I start to work again I won’t be able to maintain my frequency of a daily post – take this as a good sign and a step towards normalcy.

Yesterday I received an e-mail by Nadine’s old friend Julie containing the link to a dance performance she did for us. She says she doesn’t know about prayer, but about dance and movement. Thanks a lot, Julie!

Nadine and Julie met in the 1990s in Lawrence when Nadine was studying at the University of Kansas. She shared a flat with Frank and Julie was the girlfriend of Frank’s close friend Paul. Julie herself lived in Ohio these days where she studied dance. Nadine attended her wedding with Paul somewhere close to Columbus.

Julie also encouraged Nadine to take part in a course for modern dance that culminated in a public choreography at the Lawrence Arts Center – fifteen minutes of fame for shy Nadine…

Both women haven’t met for about two decades but connected again via Facebook last year. Paul and Julie are going to spend half a year in Munich soon and Nadine is looking forward to meet her old friends again.

Julie says her performance can be watched with any piece of music. Let me suggest “We Dance” by Pavement – if you start the audio player first and the video next both media fit together quite well.

P.S.: The picture of a dancing Nadine was taken at Narbonne Plage in Southern France back in 2009. We visited that place during our first holiday together.

Reunion after almost two months. Nadine and her mother haven’t met since a couple of days after mum’s stroke. We arrive without having announced our visit. There is no shock. We only understand that Nadine is feeling quite adjusted to this part of the hospital. We see her beautiful eyes. Once again the bald head – it looks good on her.

We all have our pains and sufferings. Hot flashes, headaches, a blurred vision and a migraine. Me, I feel a pain dragging from my wedding ring almost up to my heart. All that seems quite normal. Is it the imminent snowfalls which do not come down in the end? Or has the relief opened up the gates to pain ? Today is not a good day.

Mum has overcome her inhibitions: Will I be able to bear seeing my daughter in hospital? Am I asking too much of her with all my own anxieties? Nadine has to say goodbye to her concept: Mum must take care of herself in the first place. I will go and see her on the Alb one day.

Eventually, it is a great solace to see Nadine and Jens as a loving couple. Apart from all our anxieties and strains: It definitely is a good day.

P.S.: The picture above was taken back in August 2014 at Annika’s birthday party.