On Friday it will be three months since Nadine passed away. Most of her personal things have left the house now: her books and some of her crockery went to Tübingen, her clothes are in a second hand shop, a friend of ours took her bike and her cousins shared her baking equipment. All the remaining stuff I deliberately chose to keep.

All these things are qualified to create moments that feel like little deaths to me. The empty tube of toothpaste pictured above is just one example: with mouth hygiene being important for cancer patients, Nadine started using that special medical toothpaste. I took over later and finished it today.

Everytime something like this happens, I’m left with a sad feeling. I don’t know where he got it from, but little Nick once came up with the image that the memory of Nadine is like a snowman slowly melting away in spring. I don’t know how to tell you how much I hate this to happen…