On Sunday, one year will have passed since this beautiful smile disappeared from the world. At 2:30 p.m. on January 28th, me and Nadine’s family will meet at her tree to remember her. Feel free to join us if you like to. Afterwards we will proceed to the traditional coffee house Schurr at Böblinger Straße 85 in Stuttgart-Heslach.

As far as I’m concerned a lot of things have changed since then. Yes, the saying that time is a great healer has some truth to it: The loss of my beloved girl stopped to feel like an open wound and I don’t need these walks to the Waldfriedhof anymore. I still do them every now and then but I don’t have to. But it’s also true that there’s always something left behind: thinking of what has happened will make me terribly sad throughout the rest of my life.

I’m not living the life I wanted to live – how could I? – but resilience made me carry on and taught me to adopt to the situation. I learned to do things we used to do together on my own now and find some pleasure in them again. But never without the aftertaste that they would have been so much more joyful with the company of my choice.

Nadine was so easy to please and the fact the she always naturally liked what I did was hugely rewarding. I can’t tell you how much I miss that smile these moments used to create on her face. Nadine was the most modest, thankful, upright and considerate person I ever met and that’s why I will love her forever – even though this love has to become a different one than it used to be.

So, after almost one year I cannot help but repost the song I already posted after one month. There’s so much truth in it but also one inaccuracy: if we would really reap what we sow, my darling girl would still be with us…