I spent the turn of the year in Southern France. I did this together with Nadine more than once and we always enjoyed being mostly on our own during this this quiet time. On the last day of the old year, I took a lonesome walk along her favourite beach in Leucate Plage. In the picture, you can see a spot shielded from the winds, where we often sat together, reading books in the afternoon sun. Even though I can’t say that I’m doing terrible after almost two years, memories like the one of her sitting in the upper right corner of that staircase feel heartbreaking to me. I guess they ever will.

Almost two years. If fate would know such a thing as justice, she would have turned 50 on the 25th of January. Instead, two years since her passing will be completed on January 28. Sometimes the ordeal she mastered so bravely seems very distant to me, but sometimes it’s like it had just happened yesterday and the most terrible sadness I’ve ever experienced returns in full strength. It may sound strange, but in some respect I’m glad this is still happening – propably because I wish to honour her beautiful mind for the rest of my life.

If you feel similar, I want to invite you to join Nadine’s family and me on Sunday the 27th of January at 2 p.m. at the Waldfriedhof. We will meet at her tree, commemorate her together and proceed to one of her favourite coffee houses later.