Nadine’s radiation treatment began on December 18. With the plan to restart after Christmas, she was temporarily released from hospital on December 23. A nice idea, but it didn’t go well. Her accompanying dose of cortisone was too heavy and Nadine encountered nasty psychic side-effects that turned Christmas at home into sheer hell. Let me spare you the details but to me it felt like her personality got sputtered step by step.
In a weird state of mind she ended up in the “Center for the Sanity of the Soul” in Bad Cannstatt – what an esoteric name for clinical psychiatry! Getting assigned to a closed station sounds horrible, but was the best thing that could happen in the situation given. The doctors who diagnosed a steroid psychosis worked real miracles on her. They improved Nadine’s medication by reducing the cortisone and countering side-effects with other drugs that leveled her erratic moods. To me, it was almost unbelievable how fast she went better. After a stay of less than two days, she will be transferred back to the Katharinenhospital tomorrow where the essential radiation therapy is to be continued.
In the bigger picture nothing has changed: Nadine is still seriously ill and has to fight advanced breast cancer. Nevertheless, this episode gave me hope because I witnessed at first hand what professional treatment can do to help people.
P.S.: The picture above was not taken when her sister Annika and me carried her to the ‘soul center’ on December 28 – we are no morons who don’t know better than shooting pictures in serious situations. I took it a day later when she felt way better and returned from a walk outside. That she appears blurry on the photo was not intended but symbolizes the state of mind she is recovering from.
Liebe Nadine,
der Gedanke an das, was du gerade durchmachst, drückt mich an manchen Tagen in den Boden. Manchmal fehlen mir alle Worte. Und aus geringfügigen Anlässen kommen mir Tränen.
Immer wieder denke ich daran, wie du mich vor einem Jahr bei meinem Krankenhausaufenthalt mit Anrufen und mit sms aufgebaut hast, obwohl dir selbst nach Monaten von Chemotherapie die Operation bevorstand.
Heute ist mir der Gedanke eine große Erleichterung, dass Jens jeden Tag und oft bei Nacht bei dir ist und für dich sorgt. Und natürlich ist da auch Annika, sie steht dir bei, streichelt dich, bis du ruhig wirst. Es tut mir gut das zu sehen.
Ich wünsche dir jetzt wieder ein wenig von der Energie und Kraft, mit der du 2014 gegen den Krebs gekämpft hast.
Dein Dad