I’m visiting Nadine’s resting place for about five times a week – a routine that seems to be good and sane for me. But every routine needs to be questioned every now and then and July is going to be the month to put this one to the test: After being to Finland with Nadine in 2009, 2011, 2013 and 2016 I will go there alone for about three and a half weeks this year.  Again to Lappeenranta where my father lives, but the cottage at the lakeside will be another one this time.

I also used to do some home DJing for Nadine sometimes: While I was sitting in front of my computer playing songs, she was sitting on the couch listening eagerly. Torres, who wrote “Don’t run away Emily”, Nadine’s message to me that was played during her ceremony, has  released a new song these days. It makes me feel so terribly sad that I don’t have the chance to introduce it to her anymore…