It is eight years today since Nadine and I became a couple. I know this date meant a lot to her so I skipped my plans to go for a run in the morning and visited her tree early. I usually stay there for five songs on my phone. Today I listened to them twice.
It makes me feel terrible that there is no proper way left to celebrate: I can dwell in my memories, hug the tree, say a few words, cry some tears, light a candle and put some decoration somewhere. Today I hung another heart at her tree. I know it will be removed soon but the gesture was much needed.
Another one of these dates that reminds he how much I’ve lost. I walked a long way home and was so physically and emotionally exhausted that I fell asleep immediately. Being awake again, I feel betrayed by life, robbed by death and terribly lonely.
Hi Jens,
I can only imagine your pain and sorrow. I don’t have any words of comfort. I do have a sentence that rings in my heart, one written by Henry Adams in 1885, a few short weeks after the death of his wife, Clover, at age 42. He wrote to one of their friends: “The world may come and the world may go; but no power in heaven or on earth can annihilate the happiness that past.” Those eight years don’t go away – they will grow, change in shape, texture, color, feel. They are yours and hers always.
with love,
Natalie
Natalie, you are right. And I know that Jens knows this to be true. But you and I both know that only Jens can feel his way towards knowing this in his own heart. He will. When he knows/feels it is right/