On Friday it’s been half a year since Nadine left us. Annika, Nick, Uli and me met at the Waldfriedhof that day to think of her and to drop orange and red rose petals all over the place.

I used the spare time during my long stay away in Finland to reflect everything and I realized how much it had become the purpose of my life to make Nadine happy. Even though this purpose became pointless, I feel that I’m still not ready to move on and find a new one. Instead, I took up my routines in the same way I used to follow them before my absence. There is nothing bad about this, six months are simply not enough to find something new to focus on.  And, with the feeling that the most important task of my life was just finished so present, it would seem wrong to me either.

Katie Crutchfield, who also goes by the name Waxahatchee, has released a new album called “Out In The Storm” these days. Nadine used to love these young American female singers and I’m sure she would have fallen for this one instantly. Thus, I’m listening to it for her over and over on my walks to the Waldfriedhof and back.