Back in Germany, I visited Nadine’s grave about once a week during the last few weeks. Now, in Finland, I didn’t follow any rituals so far. But today, on the last day of the saddest year in my life, I walked over to Voisalmensaari to think of her.

I told you about Voisalmensaari back in July when I went there on an almost daily basis: In summer, it was a bikeride of just a few minutes, now, in winter, it’s a walk of about a quarter. Voisalmensaari is the place where Nadine and I stood at the shores of Lake Saimaa together for the first time in our lives and where I can relate to her in the best manner while I’m here.

Not having used my music in quite a while, I listened to my playlist again there. Please allow me to end this sad year by sharing the last song of the list with you once again. It is very meaningful to me because it deals with tragic loss and finding a way back into life.