A few years ago I would have never believed that I’m going to have more than one hundred pilgrimages to a gravesite under my belt before I turn fifty. But this became reality. Well, I might not have an accurate count, but I must have passed the three-digit-mark during the week. And what I do know for sure is that it is my birthday tomorrow.

There won’t be any celebrations and I’m not keen on receiving any compliments. Of course not, not this year. If you nevertheless ask me for a wish: I want to wake up tomorrow morning and be greeted by that special smile on Nadine’s face, inspired by her unconditional love. But this is not going to happen. If life is too harsh to offer me that, it can keep the rest too – at least for tomorrow.