Due to my holidays I haven’t been to the Waldfriedhof for more than two weeks. When I arrived there on Tuesday, the site was all covered in leaves and I expect winter to arrive soon.

During my stay in Southern France I deliberately chose not to follow any memorizing rituals in order to find out wether I still need them. It seems like I don’t. I also visited the graveyard only on the fourth day after my return which would have been unthinkable a few months ago. I can see that things are slowly going to change and I feel ambivalent about that. On the one hand side I feel guilty about reducing routines I interpret as acts of reverence. But on the other hand I start feeling better and seem to regain the ability to look forward. I don’t have any clear ideas about my future yet but maybe winter is going to turn that page.