When we brought Nadine to the ‘soul center’ in Bad Cannstatt, she couldn’t comprehend what was going on. She wanted to come home with us and the scene that happened when Annika and I left was heartbreaking. I will never forget her eyes when she tried to follow but was stopped by locked doors and safety glass.
The next day, I managed to explain the situation to her by using the picture above – a drawing by her beloved nephew Nick, aged 2½. I don’t know what the little guy had in mind when he drew this, but I told Nadine that it shows the wildfire burning in her head. Any kind of radiation therapy would fuel it up, so it needs to be embanked before further treatment can be applied. This is what’s happening right now, and her new and quiet environment seems to be perfect.
This also determines the answer to all understandable requests for a visit: please don’t! Meeting too many people is emotionally demanding, troubles Nadine’s fragile mind and stirs the fire up. I’m convinced this is going to change and everybody will get their opportunity sooner or later. But now it’s not the time.
If you got something to tell her, please use the blog. I installed a feed reader on her iPhone and taught her how to monitor it. Do not use her mobile number, her mailbox, sms, whatsapp, e-mail or social media. On the one hand she looses these paths of communication quite often so your message might not be percepted. On the other hand, she feels urged to reply, finds it too demanding and feels guilty about not answering. Therefore: please use the blog, it is like a safe haven to her where she doesn’t feel forced to act herself. Be assured that your wishes and comments posted there are fruitful – I saw Nadine cry out of thankfulness more than once.
If you got a request or a contribution that cannot be executed via the blog, please contact me, Annika or Nadine’s dad. Just like her American ‘family’ did: They e-mailed me a ‘Happy Song’ recorded some time ago. Here it is, with Barry playing the guitar and Shari doing the vocals:
Lieber Jens,
du machst das so toll… es berührt mich wirklich sehr und ich folge dem Blog täglich. Ich bin in Gedanken immer bei Euch, habe das Neujahrsfoto von Nadine ausgedruckt mit einer Kerze auf unserem “Altar” stehen – eine Ansammlung von allen möglichen westlichen und östlichen Göttern, Marias, Buddhas, Jesuse… alle guten Geister mögen mit Euch sein. Meine Gedanken und Wünsche sind es.
Das mit dem Besuch und der Kommunikation ist total klar. Bitte bloß keinen Kopf machen.
Thank you for the Happy Song. How beautiful it is…
Alles Liebe, Tina
Dear Jens and Nadine, what a beautiful picture of a wildfire that needs to be embanked. The force of that fire will be a source of strength, when it is brought under control.
Thank you for posting our song, too. We are very happy to be able to add to this blog.
We drive to Oberlin today, to take Claire’s clothing back to school for the new semester. We still have the picture of Jens standing next to the memorial of the great philosopher, W.V.O. Quine, taken on the campus. Two philosophers in the same picture. We will be remembering that fun trip to Cleveland and Oberlin that we all took together a couple of years ago. Later this afternoon, the three of us will be going to Art Museum, which is one of my favorite activities, one that Nadine and I love to do together. We will be sending you thoughts of those joyful times all day long and looking forward to our next trip to the Art Museum.
Much love from us,
Barry
Here it is: